Tag Archives: obedience

Headship in Marriage Part 2 – Why and How?

In the last post I was sharing on what the whole authority and headship thing means, and the qualifications. This time I want to look at why God put it there and some of the things it takes for us wives to put this difficult stuff into practice!

Why did God put this in place?

  • God is a God of order –  John Macarthur said ‘An employee may be more intelligent and more skilled than his boss, but a company cannot be run without submission to proper authority, even if some of those in authority are not as capable as they ought to be.’
  • Protection for us – When our husbands realise that we are submitted to their authority, they will often see more of the weight of the decision that lies with them, and take more care over making it. It also protects us from a lot of the worry that we would otherwise be prone to as the responsibility lies with him.
  • Women are more easily deceived –  And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. 2 Tim 2:14 We don’t like reading this verse mainly because of pride and the world’s teaching. But this doesn’t mean that women are less valuable or less intelligent, or inferior. ‘It does mean that God has restricted women’s role in the local church partially because she could be more easily deceived.’ (John Macarthur) And in practice we are more easily deceived, I think primarily because the emotions that God has put in us to help us care for children also have the tendency to mislead us. If I want my 3 year old daughter Hope to kiss me after she has already refused, all I have to do is to pretend to cry like a baby, ‘Waah, waaah, waaaaah!’ and she immediately gives me a kiss! There’s no chance of that with my two boys! That is a bit scary for me because it shows how easily she can be manipulated by being made to feel guilty, just as I know I can be.

What it takes on our part

  • An understanding of who God is – God is compassionate and understanding, and knows what we are going through, and knows what we can cope with – He has promised to not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear 1 Cor 10:13
  • Faith in God – God has also promised that He will work everything for the good of those who love Him Rom 8:28. This is key in submission, as if we trust that, and know that God’s will is that we submit to our husbands, then we can trust that God will work it for our good whether our husbands make the right decision or not, because ultimately God is in control, and we are doing God’s will so we don’t need to be afraid.
  • Humility – We have to get past our pride that tells us we are right and they are wrong, and that we know more than they do so we should be making the decisions. That may be true, but just as Christ humbled himself and became obedient, so must we!
  • Obedience – if we obey God we will be blessed, and if we disobey we will reap the consequences. Ultimately we have to remember, this is a clear command in the Bible, which is God’s word.

If you want to know more, Alistair Begg has an excellent sermon called ‘Being a Wife God’s Way’ that you can listen to online, as well as many other sermons on marriage and womanhood that are free to download and listen to.

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Are You Willing To Go It Alone?

I just watched ‘Prince Caspian’ where C.S. Lewis draws a very challenging picture of our walk with Christ. When Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy try to find the crossing of the river to go and help Prince Caspian, Lucy sees Aslan the lion, who is symbolic of Christ. She tells the others that she has seen him and he is telling them to go that way. But the way looks impossible – down a tall cliff with no visible path, and they don’t see him. So they don’t believe her and go a different way. After a long journey the other way they get met with arrows fired at them and have to quickly retreat. They end up going back the way that Lucy told them to, having delayed their journey considerably by their detour. Later on Lucy meets Aslan and tells him that she would have followed him, but the others didn’t believe her.

Here is what happens next, from the book: ‘From somewhere deep inside Aslan’s body there came the faintest suggestion of a growl. “I’m sorry,” said Lucy, who understood some of his moods. “I didn’t mean to start slanging the others. But it wasn’t my fault anyway, was it?” The Lion looked straight into her eyes. “Oh Aslan,” said Lucy, “You don’t mean it was? How could I – I couldn’t have left the others and come up to you alone, how could I? Don’t look at me like that… oh well, I suppose I could. Yes, and it wouldn’t have been alone, I know, not if I was with you. But what would have been the good?” Aslan said nothing. “You mean,” said Lucy rather faintly, “that it would have turned out all right – somehow? But how? Please, Aslan! Am I not to know?” “To know what would have happened, child?” said Aslan. “No. Nobody is ever told that.” ‘

I think many times in the Christian life God calls us to do something, just like Aslan called Lucy to go that way. But we don’t go because other people don’t agree or do the same, and we are scared of going by ourselves. This has challenged me every time I’ve read it or watched it to remember that I CAN go by myself. And I SHOULD if it is something I am sure God is telling me to do. He will be with me – it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or does.